Go find her.

For a long time, I lived in a cognitive dissonance. I was alive but muted. I had become an expert at ‘making myself small’. I hid behind the shield 🛡 and honor of being a mother. I deferred all sorts of personal glory to my husband. I excelled at letting others shine. I made my needs small. I hid talents, gifts, skills, knowledge and my light.

But, it was always there. I always knew what I was capable of. I always knew I could do more, be more, say more, feel more, and love more. This is where the dissonance occurred. I knew I wasn’t giving it my all. I wasn’t seeing a reflection of who I felt like on the inside.

Till now. I will not deny the light shining from this image of me. I will celebrate the woman in the photo. This line drawing is based off a photo of me. When I saw the photo, the dissonance ended. My thought ‘there she is, I knew she was still in there’

My light is on. It’s fucking shining bright, I can light a path for you now. I will light a path for you now.

Do you feel like you don’t know the woman in your own photo? She is in there. Go find her.

Line drawing by Lauren Rust based off of photography by Lesley Villareal.